Blog Comments

#1 Kristen Heydt

Hamlet, my dear boy... I see you're venting to the world about your inner feelings. Why don't you share your thoughts - in more obvious terms than madness - with the rest of us? It would truly do you well to vent to those in your life, rather than simply spouting "Words, words, words (2.2.192)". I agree with you, yes, it can feel good to be above others, - believe me, I know! - but it can be harrowing all the same. Especially when my own son seems to hate me!

However, it is simply not befitting of you, the heir to the throne, to behave in such manners! The people look up to you, and they see this... Mad boy! "I hold it not honesty to have it thus set down, for/yourself, sir, should be old as I am, if like a crab/you could go backward. (2.2.202-204)". Does that sound like something a prince should be saying to someone whom his father is friends with? No!

Well, my son... I hope you reflect on what I have said, or at the VERY least consider it! Your mother truly worries!

Your father,
Claudius

#2 Michael Marino

From a King to his Prince's friend,

Dear Horatio, my loyal subject, I must say that your view on this supposed apparition Hamlet has seen is most accurate! Who knows what sort of foul beast it could be! As even you said, "I have heard,/The cock, that is the trumpet to the morn,/Doth with his lofty and shrill-sounding throat/Awake the god of day (1.1.149-152)". How could it not be something that fears God if it fears His light?

However, Horatio... I must admit I am disappointed in your lack of faith in my aptitude of keeping our country of Denmark safe! I speak in, as you said, "great confidence" because I am confident! There shall be no marching on Denmark under my watch! Do you not remember my saying of Fortinbras, "thinking by our late dear brother's death/Our state to be disjoint and out of frame (1.2.19-20)"? I said such as our state is strong, as opposed to his faulty thoughts!

Well, again I am being requested to talk. I bid thee well, Horatio - and keep watch over the boy now, will you?

Your King, Claudius

#3 Kelly O'Keefe

My dear Gertrude,

I am most happy that you have decided to leave your page, for the most part, as it were. I would hate to see you change anything about yourself, and as this is an extension of you, change anything with this! Looking at some of the things you've said in here, I agree with your saying, "You think things are one way and then they turn out to be the complete opposite!" Quite indeed, that seems to be the case! As Polonius said about Hamlet's apparent 'madness', "Though this be madness, yet there is method/in 't (2.2.205-206)". Though Hamlet acts mad, he may in fact be merely playing us, his parents. A disturbing thought!

I, however, have to disagree with the thought that Hamlet was merely seeing things. While an apparition may be a far-fetch guess, and while it may be mere delusions - God may they be delusions! -, it is possible they are real... Even Horatio, loyal to the end, said he saw it, claiming "Before my God, I might not this believe/Without the sensible and true avouch/Of mine own eyes (1.1.56-58)". If someone as him can see it, perhaps it is not mere imagination...

Well, it seems court duty is AGAIN pulling me away! See you soon, dear.

Your Husband, Claudius

#4 Kristen Heydt

Dear boy,

I will try to be kind, as you've been trying my patience for so long as of recent... Anyways, anyways, I must disagree with your personal choice of which acting of you was the best. I feel that Kenneth was the best at portraying you in this scene, if only for the reason of the line "Soft you now,/The fair Ophelia! (3.1.88-89)" being used as it were in your original soliloquy. It stays the most true to what you did - let me not forget it.

I will agree, however, that the Ethan Hawke version wasn't quite funny, and that it certainly wasn't expected out of someone looking like... That. And as "the most immediate to our throne (1.2.109)", he should certainly have been better dressed than he was!

Well... I suppose we may have differing opinions, and that must be how it is.

Your Father, Claudius

#5 Michael Marino

Loyal Horatio,

I do have to agree with you, this Seng's analysis of Ophelia is rather accurate. The poor girl certainly went mad as time went on, and Polonius and Laertes certainly had an effect on her, such as when Polonius told her, "Tender yourself more dearly;/Or—not to crack the wind of the poor phrase,/Running it thus—you'll tender me a fool (1.3.107-109)". He put his place and his desires over hers, stressing her out.

However, I see that you didn't bring into account the verbal abuse that Hamlet had put her through, such as telling her to go "To a nunnery (3.1.140)", essentially telling her to go to a brothel... Certainly some of what he told her had been part of the reason why she went mad? The one she loved, talking down to her as she shows affection... A conflict in the mind, causing stress and, eventually, breaking her.

Well, I ask that you keep an eye on Hamlet and help... Protect him.

Your King, Claudius

#6 Kelly O'Keefe

Dear Gertrude,

I am truly touched by what you had to say! Many people seem to feel that I don’t feel sorry about the king’s death, but as I said before (whether or not in full earnest matters not), “Though yet of Hamlet our dear brother's death/The memory be green, and that it us befitted/To bear our hearts in grief and our whole kingdom/To be contracted in one brow of woe (1.2.1-4)”. I speak for the country when I say that he will be missed, and has been missed. By some more than others...

I think you underestimate Hamlet’s distaste of me, though... It’s less of simple distaste for the time, but with full spirit and body loathing. To the point of murder! When I had been praying to God, Hamlet had been apparently, next to me, muttering, “Up, sword; and know thou a more horrid hent (3.3.88)”. He was sheathing his blade, saying he would wait for a time when I was doing something less favorable to kill me! The horror!

Your Husband, Claudius

Be prepared!

• Scar
• Shenzi
• Banzai
• Hyenas

---

I never thought hyenas essential

They're crude and unspeakably plain

But maybe they've a glimmer of potential

If allied to my vision and brain

I know that your powers of retention

Are as wet as a warthog's backside

But thick as you are, pay attention

My words are a matter of pride

It's clear from your vacant expressions

The lights are not all on upstairs

But we're talking kings and successions

Even you can't be caught unawares

So prepare for a chance of a lifetime

Be prepared for sensational news

A shining new era

Is tiptoeing nearer

And where do we feature?

Just listen to teacher

I know it sounds sordid

But you'll be rewarded

When at last I am given my dues!

And injustice deliciously squared

Be prepared!

Yeah! Be prepared. We'll be prepared! For what?

For the death of the king

Is he sick?

No, fool! We're going to kill him. And Simba, too

Great idea! Who needs a king?

No king, no king! La la la la la!

Idiots! There will be a king!

But you said...

I will be king! Stick with me and you'll never go hungry again!

Yay, all right! Long live the king!

Long live the king!

It's great that we'll soon be connected

With a king who'll be all-time adored

Of course, quid pro quo, you're expected

To take certain duties on board

The future is littered with prizes

And though I'm the main addressee

The point that I must emphasize is

You won't get a sniff without me!

So prepare for the coup of the century

Be prepared for the murkiest scam             Oooooo, la-la-la!

Meticulous planning                           We'll have food!

Tenacity spanning                             Lots of food

Decades of denial                             We repeat

Is simply why I'll                            Endless meat

Be king undisputed

Respected, saluted

And seen for the wonder I am

Yes, my teeth and ambitions are bared

Be prepared!

Yes, our teeth and ambitions are bared -

Be prepared!

( http://www.lionking.org/lyrics/OBCR/BePrepared.html )

Ah, woe is Hamlet, as well as myself... And it seems, woe is all who have meddled in the state of our royalty. My poor dear wife, that damn'd 'son' of mine, Laertes... All poisoned and dying! To any who may read this, I ask that, at my funeral - should I receive one after the fool Hamlet has made of me -, the song "Be Prepared" from the Lion King. It's a fitting song to a fitting end, is it not... The envious brother taking over the throne through murder, and eventually attempting to kill the left-over son to prevent any problems from arising... Both even end in failure. A shame that it had to end this way, though, dear Denmark... It seems I certainly should have been prepared, or better prepared, than I had been...

Now... Returning to the topic of that song I wish to have played... What was it, ah... Yes, "Be Prepared." Seems my mind is already slipping away, so I best make this the best I can. I feel it's rather fittin... Wait, I've said that before. Bah! Damn that boy and his meddling with things... If he hadn't been a fool, I wouldn't be in this bloody position. Or perhaps it is my own fault... As Scar says in the song, "Be prepared!... For the death of the king" (Linked Video). As Hamlet suspected for so long, with the apparition even telling him... Yes, I killed King Hamlet. As the ghost and the boy discussed, "[Hamlet] My uncle?/[Ghost] Ay, that incestuous, that adulterate beast (1.5.41-42)". See? For almost the whole time, that daft boy believed a spirit that could well enough have been a demon - though right it was. What person of faith would put trust into something such as that...? It doesn't help that, after they talked, Hamlet wrote down "So, uncle, there you are. Now to my word;/It is 'Adieu, adieu! remember me.'/I have sworn't (1.5.110-112)" to help him remember the event, and no doubt give himself a reason to avenge his father! Again, he was the one who ended up being prepared - though in the end, the poison tipped blade struck us all down, rather like the lobbed head of an adder still can bite when removed from the body... Venom is not something that only the creator can wield, as Laertes and I saw when Hamlet snatched the sword from him. I recall Laertes telling Osric, "Why, as a woodcock to mine own springe, Osric;/I am justly kill'd with mine own treachery (5.2.306-307)". I might have said this before, but... Can no one keep to themselves what it is I have charged them with doing? I know that we are all at death's door by now, but still, it would be nice to have at least one person who would carry to the grave a secret or two.

In another portion of the rather amazing work of music (you should listen to the Hebrew version... It just sounds absolutely powerful!), Scar says the line, "Decades of denial" (Linked Video) when speaking of how he'll hold the throne. It's almost like myself, though my time has been significantly shorter than the time Scar managed to hold... Where he managed quite a many years, I only managed less than one! At the time of the beginning, it had only been "two months (1.2.138)" since the old king had passed due to my tampering. And to that, he passed with poison, the very same thing that will be the end of Gertrude, Laertes, Hamlet, and myself... Why, in the end, my poor, dear wife proclaimed, "No, no, the drink, the drink—O my dear Hamlet—/The drink, the drink! I am poison'd (5.2.309-310)." So in the end, she knew that I had been the one to fix the drink, the one to cause the end of her life in an attempt to end Hamlet's... For the better good of all, mind you! The boy was mad with thirst of revenge! Mad enough that he would use a play, and with it is "Wherein I'll catch the conscience of the king (2.2.606)." Who in their right mind would use a play to find out how someone feels? If they don't understand, or decide to hide it, it could end poorly for them, and reflect poorly... Though his mad ranting during it certainly didn't help in my endeavors to keep what happened on the down low! Bah, a fool he is, a mad fool! If only he had truly been sent to England as I had wished, "With fiery quickness.../The bark is ready, and the wind at help,/Th' associates tend, and everything is bent/For England (4.3.43-46)".  It would have solved so many problems and kept all this mess with poison from happening... 

Relating again to death, Scar mentions killing two people, which I honestly should have done... As he said, "We're going to kill him [Mafusa]. And Simba, too" (Linked Video). Certainly taking care of Hamlet sooner could have saved me much trouble, though it would have broken Gertrude... As Gertrude said to Hamlet what seems like ages ago, "Let not thy mother lose her prayers, Hamlet:/I pray thee, stay with us; go not to Wittenberg (1.2.118-119)". She so very wanted him to stay, and if I had made him 'go away' so to speak, it would have shattered her resolve... And on top of that, she might have even begun to suspect me and fear me. Imagine that, a love where it is only from one side, due to fear... Of course, as it's been established by now, yes, I killed King Hamlet. And later on, not too awful long ago, I talked to Laertes about killing Hamlet as revenge for him, and to help myself... I do believe I said, "I will work him/To an exploit, now ripe in my device,/Under the which he shall not choose but fall:/And for his death no wind of blame shall breathe (4.7.63-66)". Well, I do believe I ate my words in the end... As did Scar, though he died a fate much worse than my being force fed poison... As he shoved the drink down my gullet, he yelled, "Here, thou incestuous, murderous, damned Dane,/Drink off this potion (5.2.325-326)". Urgh, such a foul taste, and now here I am, laying where I do, dying of this God forsaken poison...

Well... My faithful followers... I do believe my time is coming, and I fear where I head after this... May God forgive what I have done, to King Hamlet... To Gertrude... To us all... Farewell, dear Denmark...

May God Forgive Me,

Your Former King, Claudius